Heather Shuker
  • Ledgerock Pottery
    • Buy some pots
    • Pottery in the Wild
    • The Making of a Mug
  • Throwing Lines
  • About Me
  • FAQs
  • Ledgerock Pottery
    • Buy some pots
    • Pottery in the Wild
    • The Making of a Mug
  • Throwing Lines
  • About Me
  • FAQs

Throwing lines

New Year, New Me! Again!

1/7/2017

2 Comments

 
“That’s it”, she said, for the 30th year in a row, “this year is the year I’m going to stop being a fat person.”

But, does she really believe it? She said the same thing last year...
Picture
On the left is me exactly one year ago today. On the right is me on the last day of 2016. After a year of WW and running, I weighed the EXACT same. You'd think I'd have at least lost a few ounces in hair weight.
​Hell yes! She has believed it every year because she's stupidly optimistic. But why on earth would this year be any different? You know what, nobody likes a downer. Besides, fresh starts are awesome, aren’t they?

It’s arbitrary, of course, when we turn the calendar to start a new year. It’s not even at a good time. Honestly, who wants their fresh start to be right after the beginning of winter? Who would really choose that? Starting an exercise program when it hurts your skin to go outside? Starting to eat healthier when there are no vegetables growing? What a terrible idea. Thanks a lot, Pope Gregory XIII. 
Picture
This is what it looks like out my front door TODAY. Who wants to go for a run? That's right. Nobody. Only psychos run in this.
But, maybe it’s for the best. Winter is when people would probably most naturally not be eating well or exercising because of how much harder it is than in ALL THE OTHER SEASONS BECAUSE WINTER IS TERRIBLE. So, having an extra incentive to kick it in rather than hibernate is not all bad, I guess. 

But why am I so much more able to eat vegetables in January than in any other month? Why is it so much easier to start than to keep going? Well, because it is. Starting is delicious and new and exciting and fresh and our little novelty-craving brains just love it. Where’s the fun in maintaining momentum? Where’s the spark? As someone who has been married going on 18 years, I’m here to tell you, fresh and new are not sustainable. There has to be something else to keep you going. 
Picture
This scale was from my hotel room in Hershey, Pennsylvania. They feed you chocolate all day and then expect you to weigh yourself. And Thinner is a Stephen King novel. I don't think that is a coincidence.
Truth be told, vegetables in January are so easy because it’s been so long since I’ve had any. That is the sad reality. Vegetables and lean proteins feel new again! But, every day? Forever? Well, it wears on you. There needs to be something beyond novelty driving the Let’s Go! train. Otherwise, mmm, Let’s Not... will takeover. 

So, what's the secret? When the novelty is gone and all that’s left is the drudgery of day to day, how do you choke down another salad? Hell if I know, but, I’ll tell you what I’m going to try this year that is different. Maybe this will be the thing. You ready? You ready for my big epiphany-like breakthrough? Here goes: I’m going to keep doing it even when I don’t want to anymore. 

BOOM! 

​Shew. I know that’s a lot to process, so, feel free to stop reading this post and go have a celery stick or something. 
Picture
Mmm vegetables!
For those of you still here, how, you may ask, obese person who has never successfully kept weight off, do you plan to achieve such a mind-blowing victory? Well, I’m glad you asked. I have a three pronged plan: 

Avoid hunger. Hunger leads to terrible decisions like Chinese food and cold french fries. 

​Almonds. Skinny people are always counting almonds, you guys. I think they know something. So, I’m going to carry almonds around with me to ward off fatness. I’m not sure if I’m supposed to eat them or not, so, I’ll have to get back to you on that. Because maybe I’m supposed to form them into an actual shield of some sort. I mean, I’ve never seen a shield made of almonds wielded by a skinny person, but that doesn’t mean they don’t exist. OR, maybe they really just keep counting them. The skinny person you know may have been counting the same almonds for the past 12 years.
Picture
​It looks like you get more when served in little hands. Maybe have all your food served by children. (Be sure to check child labor laws in your state before following this advice.)
Have a plan when steps 1 & 2 inevitably fail. Because, you guys, hunger and not having any almonds will happen. They just will. Life does sneaky things. One day I’ll find myself at a restaurant, I will have missed a meal and I will have forgotten my almonds. The grilled chicken breast and broccoli is not the choice I’m going to make. It’s just not happening. First of all, I don’t eat broccoli. Second of all, I love things with gravy. Gravy makes everything better. If I’m hungry and almondless, I’m ordering something with gravy.
Picture
Or maybe just one plate of waffles.
​BUT THEN, and here’s the real crux of it all, I’m not going to hop on the Let’s Not... train and bagel and ice cream and pizza it up until it’s January again.

No, ma’am!

​Once I come down off the gravy high, I’m going to take a walk with my almonds, regroup, and go back to eating healthy even if I don’t want to anymore. 
Picture
You've got to be ready to cross that bridge when you come to it. (I'm sorry. I had to.)
There you go. That’s it. That’s how this year will be different. Or it won’t be. But even if I only manage to eat healthy 1/12th of every year, there’s hope. Waking up some January 1st without the will to at least try to be healthier scares me a hell of a lot more than being a fat person.

So here’s to you, fellow Fresh Starters. May our vegetables be crispy, our chicken breasts be savory, our feet be move-y, and may we never find ourselves without almonds.
2 Comments
Angela Dean
1/9/2017 09:07:24 pm

I can relate so much. The problem is that I have just given up. You may not have dropped pounds but I am sure you are healthier. I know I am biased because I think you are beautiful no matter what you weight.

Reply
Heather Shuker
1/9/2017 09:56:01 pm

The struggle is so relentlessly real.

Reply

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Picture

    I like to throw things.

    Picture

    Archives

    October 2017
    May 2017
    January 2017
    November 2016
    August 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    February 2016
    September 2015
    July 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    January 2015
    August 2014
    June 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    December 2013
    September 2013
    July 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    October 2011
    July 2011
    June 2011
    March 2011
    January 2011
    December 2010
    November 2010
    October 2010
    September 2010
    August 2010
    July 2010
    June 2010
    May 2010
    April 2010
    March 2010

    RSS Feed

    Picture

     Subscribe in a reader

Proudly powered by Weebly